before sunset....

jesse: Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's never around?
celine: yes, obviously i cant deal with the day- to day life of a relationship. yeah we have this exciting time together and he leaves and i miss him, but at least i'm not dying inside. when someone's always around me, i'm suffocating.
j: no wait, u said that u need to love and be loved.
c: yeah, but when i do it quckly makes me nauseous. it's a disaster.i mean i'm really happy only when i'm on my own. Even being alone,it's been than sitting next to a lover & feeling lonely.it's not so easy for me to be a romantic.you start off that way and after u've been screwed over a few times you forgot about ur delusional ideas and u take what comes into ur life. thats not even true. i havent been screwd over i just had too many blah relationshp. they werent mean, they cared for me but there were no real connection or excitement. at least not form my side.
j: god, i'm sorry. is it really thay bad.it's not right
c: u know, it's not even that, i was until i read your fucking book. it's stirred u up, u know? it reminded me how genuinely romanic i was how i had so much hope in things.and now it's like i don't believe in anything that relates to love. i dont feel things for ppl anymore. In a way, i put all my romanticms into that 1 night and i was never able to feel all this agian. Like somehow that night took things away from me and i expressed them to u, and u took them with u. It made me feel cold, like love wasn't for me.
j: i don believe that.
c: u know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It's funny .. every single of my exes, they're now married. Men go out with me, we break up and then they get married. and later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is and that i taught them to care and respect women.
j: i think i'm one of those
c: i want to kill them. Why didnt they ask me?i would have said no but they could have asked. i know its my fault because i never felt it was the right man. Never. But what does it mean, the right man, the love of your life?the concept is absurd. we can only be complete with one person. its evil, right?
j: can i talk?
c: i guess i've been heartbroken to many times and then i recovered. so now u know from the starts, i make no effort. i know it's not gonna work out.
j: u cant do that. u cant live trying to avoid pain at the expense...
c: those are words.